Yesterday somebody passed me and said, "You're always sitting by yourself. I like it." Things were never like this. As each day passes I realize things will never be the same, they just can't be. I feel like I am floating through time and just doing what I have to do. Everything that surrounds me aggravates me. I am fueled by jealousy, which is an ugly thing. I can't even talk to him about things because he'll get confused and upset, which will make me cry and get angry.

I want to throw everything out of my room, but I know I would regret it in the end. I'm disgusted with myself. I want to stop biting my lips and nails, but I can't, it's inevitable.