I should stop biting my lips.

Today I visited my brother at work and then had a sushi lunch with my mother and sister. Later I went on a walk. I was thinking about everything and then nothing at all. I had to call the library to see if they were currently holding Lolita, and they weren't. I showed a picture of my ex-boyfriend to my five year old cousin and asked her if she thought he was pretty. She shook her head and laughed saying ,"boys aren't pretty, they're handsome!" Then I asked her if she thought he was handsome and she agreed with wide eyes! She's a smart cookie.

Look at these.

And I really should stop biting my lips, especially in this cold weather.

everything is falling and i am included in that.

Christmas time and December in general are not a good time of the year for me. I get sad, more sad than the rest of the year it seems. Yesterday I got to go to a holiday party held by my brother's friend. There were a lot of people there, some I don't see anymore so that was fun. I met some really nice people, while others were just plain annoying. My thoughts on Christmas are similar to those of Charlie Brown in A Charlie Brown Christmas.

"I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy. I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel. I just don't understand Christmas, I guess. I like getting presents and sending Christmas cards and decorating trees and all that, but I'm still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed."



I miss him, but off to Candy Cane Lane with my friends.

ctm

For You, Forever Ago

soon to come

The past three months of my life

Before school was let out the Junior Drama Academy was given their parts in A Midsummer Night's Dream. I was cast as Titania and Hippolyta, but I also play a fairy. Anyway, our location changed a few times and finally (a week before the performances started) we re-blocked the entire show from in-the-round to proscenium. I've really learned a lot throughout the whole process, about others and myself. I wish that I could do another performance, especially because of all the hardwork put into it. But, Titania is a character that I look forward to playing again. Until then, I have to try to get back to this life I once had? I am ready for break and time to relax, although there probably won't be any of that going on. I can't wait to see all my little cousins and big cousins too, oh! and San Francisco. But first, we must decorate this house, starting with getting a tree!

What a wonderful Thanksgiving! A majority of it was spent with my boyfriend which was the absolute best. Even though I didn't eat as much as I thought I would, the food was still delicious. I wish everyday was like that Thanksgiving.

Tomorrow comes like a stampede of elephants
providing pain and hope in the same breath
a bond that lifts my muscles and
enables me to smile

cotton
simply soft
like touching a million angels
before delivery
your fingers simplifying life's transgressions

bare legs
sporting a dress that can melt the heart of many a man
shining brighter then forty comets could
knee-caps and all

black hair attracting my warm exhaust
a feeling that resembles
warm sweet rolls and a
glass of skittles

a small couch
uninhabitable yet able to sercome
to love and hold us.
your music is better

your smile truly lighting my way
making me want to grow a beard
grizzly man
A.S.S
Thats how i love you

Happy Thanksgiving

Today I will be eating multiple servings of macaroni and cheese, sweet potatoes, stuffing, greens, mashed potatoes and so on.... Then it's back to rehearsal for A Midsummer Night's Dream :(

I just want to make everybody happy.

11/6/09

It's official.

And, I'm looking for some good ol' books.
*"Can we have a house like that one day?"

Fuzzzy feeling

At home doing doing laundry and watching Juno. Feeling sick. Check these out:

I've been spending a lot of time on Spike Jonze's blog, We Love You So, of late. I haven't seen Where the Wild Things Are yet, but I'm hoping to soon. I also want to get the soundtrack, that I have heard goes along with the movie so well.
I took my PSAT today, gross. I am not up for the SAT at all. I don't even know what I want to do with my life. All I know, is that I want to watch a movie and get a soundtrack as well as another CD. Jason Schwartzman has a band called Coconut Records that my friends and I love. My best friends Tam, Hailey, and Hannah are going to start a cover band called Jason Schwartzman's Wives, although Hannah hates the name. I'm lead singer, so I better start learning the lyrics and music. I need to learn how to play a real instrument, not just an egg shaker and tambourine.

Four Day Weekend

This is unfortunately my last four day weekend for a while, but I've had fun so far. On Friday, I spent what felt like the whole day on the computer. Yesterday, I spent the a majority of the day cleaning and preparing my house for my first sleepover held at my home! It was so fun, because it was Bollywood themed. We watched Dhoom 2 and The Namesake. My friend wanted to watch to watch the first movie, so I rented it and it was 2 hours and 40 minutes!! Then I put in The Namesake which is one of my favorite movies and books. It is a novel about Indian immigrants that move to America and how their children grow up with conflicting cultures. I love the way the author writes, I cannot wait until she comes out with another book.
Anyway, I still have work to do today. I should get started so that I can enjoy my day off tomorrow, but I'm just too lazy. Only one month into school....

Still from The Namesake: Ashima, Ashoke, and newly born Gogol.

I miss my brother.

I'm sick.

Right now, I am simultaneously writing this entry and working on putting my Christmas list together (my grandmother likes them early.) I started getting sick two days ago, and yesterday was the height of it all. My eyes were red and puffy, and my head felt like it was going to explode. I feel much better today than I did yesterday. The latest book that I am reading is The Boy Detective Fails by Joe Meno. It's a book that my brother really enjoys and he left it here, so I decided to read it. it's really sad so far, but I can relate to the character. Another thing that into these days is Damien Rice. His music is so somber and beautiful at the same time, maybe I'll perform one of his songs for the Talent Show.

I really just want to lay around all day and watch movies and sleep, but alas I cannot. I'll just focus on my Xmas List--I cannot wait until Christmas--and think about my favorite things. I should probably also figure out what exactly I'm doing for Halloween.

I would especially love it if tonight I could go to the Laemmle Theatre and watch a movie.

So little time to do everything I need to do....

Which means there is no time for things I want to do, like:
- Go shopping. I would like to refurnish my room and get new clothes for my wardrobe, but unfortunately I do not have money for that right now.
- Get my film developed. I have homework to finish and there are some assignments I haven't even started.
- Go to Ashland. Alas, I cannot, because school starts on Tuesday, and well, that is impossible.
- Watch a movie. Once again, homework. Uggggh.

There are some things I want to do that I cannot describe. It is too difficult. Maybe one day I will be able to articulate these things.

Enjoying the last of it

Today I made a smoothie for breakfast. Unfortunately, it was the kind where you just add the berries and like a cup of milk. I've recently been watching Barefoot Contessa and Everyday Italian, and a couple weeks ago I found the best smoothie recipe from Giada de Laurentiis. I made it on a Saturday afternoon and it was gone so quickly, my family loved it so much. Here's the recipe:

Raspberry Vanilla Smoothie
MAKES 4 SERVINGS

1/2 cup cup sugar
1/2 cup water
1 cup plain Greek yogurt
1 cup frozen raspberries
1/2 cup apple juice
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups ice

In a small saucepan, bring the sugar and water to a boil over medium-high heat. Simmer, stirring occasionally, until the sugar has dissolved, about 5 minutes. Cool for 20 minutes.

Pour the cooled syrup into a blender. Add the yogurt, raspberries, apple juice, vanilla, and ice. Blend until the mixture is smooth and thick.

Pour into glasses and serve.


School starts in 3 days, and for once I'm actually not that excited. I've been a little more relaxed his summer vacation and it's all going away. I still have two more assignments for school and I have to complete one book, but I know I can do it. I am trying to prepare myself for the stress that this year will bring, but I think that is impossible. Onto happier notes....

Last year I wanted to throw a Valentine's Day party, but instead my friend and I threw a holiday party at her house. After watching Julie & Julia (which was about so-so, but I watched in Ashland, so that made it a little more exciting and magical) I am thinking I am going to have the Valentine's Day party. I want to have the best food, the most beautiful desserts and decorations, and I want all of my guests to have a fun time. Stuff like this totally excites me, but it makes me miss by older brother, who is going to start college in two days :( I'll get to see him on vacation and I know he's doing what he wants to do, so that makes me happy.


I told my mom that when I move into my first house, I want to buy a white cake platter to present cupcakes on. I found one that I like and I seriously cannot wait to get it.


I'm going to go finish making my "Miss You" card for my brother.

Haven't done this in a while so....

Just read a GREAT book: Q & A, but it is now titled Slumdog Millionaire. I could not put it down.

I usually want school to start and summer to be over , but this year I'm really dreading school. I know that the amount of homework and stress is going to be unmanageable and I haven't even finished my homework for summer yet.

Last week was my best friend Hannah's birthday, so I packed us a picnic and we we're planning on going to the Getty Center, but they were closed so we settled for a picnic on the beach in Santa Monica which was quite fun. I have pictures that I am waiting to develop from my camera, so I'll post those when they're ready.

I also had lunch with my ex-boyfriend and good friend and I didn't know how that was going to turn out, but it was fine. I love spending time with them.
Other than all this, I've been reading magazine and what not.


Today I got a call from my friend Alexis, saying that she received my letter that I sent to her while I was in Ashland (oh, I have pictures from that trip too!) and that she loved it and will write me back! I can't wait, I love getting mail.

Getting ready

I need to start packing for Oregon, but I can't stop reading. I finished Unaccustomed Earth and am now onto Revolutionary Road. Totally different, but I'm getting as much as I can. I need to develop my film, and tidy up my room. Lists, lists, lists, lists. So much more to do, but with so little time!

Not doing too much lately. Just listening to music, reading, and drawing. Planning some stuff for August. I'll be going to Oregon soon, can't wait.

I just got back from the houseboat trip. The house is still moving a little bit.

It was so fun and beautiful and tranquil. Hopefully we'll do it again next year.

More pictures to come.

I finished A Mighty Heart while on the trip. So powerful and Mariane's message is so strong. She is so strong. Wonderful book.

Reading A Mighty Heart.

Daniel Pearl and Mariane Pearl had such a wonderful love and relationship.

Even though it was really hot yesterday I decided to go on a walk. I walked to the library and picked up Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri and W Magazine featuring Angelina Jolie. I came back home and then went back out to buy The New York Times Magazine, but I couldn't find one, so instead I got a chocolate bar. Then, I walked back home and ate Indian food and played games with all my cousins and my siblings. We had a sleepover and played with the Wii. I plan on walking to a used bookstore today, to find some great deals before I go on the houseboat. Maybe I'll get gelato too!

Taken by Kiya

My heart is heavy.

That's just my style.

Busy packing and getting ready for vacation.
Hoping to relax and have a great time.

Mandatory reading:
Autobiography of Malcolm X
The Things They Carried
The Glass Menagerie
A Midsummer Night's Dream
Speaking Shakespeare

Leisure reading:
A Mighty Heart
Evening
The Road
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
A Long Day's Journey Into Night
The Bell Jar

I want to go somewhere.
I'm thinking Oregon.

Almost there....

A week and a half left of school.

And I'm really enjoying the scent of the soap in my bathroom.

Breakfast!

Had another fun day with friends at More Than Waffles. What a relaxing weekend it's been, unfortunately I have to go back to school. I hope to have more of these days before the school year ends.

Yummy!

We'll see how this goes.... I am working on a few things right now. Trying to get ideas for selling my cards and broadening my horizons. I'll be suffering some long hours this week, 14 1/2 hour days and then two shows with a break in between. Oh! I purchased Feist's Open Season and Let It Die earlier. Can't wait to have a listen.